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CHAPTER 77

 25 August 2025

{12:05 PM}

Majority of my time got caught up in Straight lines and Chemical bonding idk where the day passed. I have to be more efficient with my time as i was not able to touch phyics yesterday also. I have to complete COM by Thursday. I skipped the mathongo test and postponed it for next week. I have to start solutions soon as im already very late. Here are my tasks:


  • Straight lines (lec + prac)- [O]
  • COM (2 hr)- [C]
  • Chemical bonding- [O]
  • Binomial  (lec + prac)- []
  • Compulsary PQS: WPE, Periodicity, PnC : [O]

{3:00 PM}

As I went home for lunch break, papa told me abou this conversation he had with a fellow uncle he met at the insititute. The uncle has a son of my age and has also taken a drop for JEE. He was in coaching but left it focus on boards, he scored 92% in boards and secured 14,00,000 rank in JEE. And now, he grinds from 9 AM to 12 AM everyday attending Prayas and practicing. That guy really is working the hardest to achieve his goal and here I am.I am not able to surpass 6 hours with coaching lectures. I really am wasting my life away even in this crucial year.

This year is going to decide my 10 years. I have a long line of people waiting to prove my decision of drop to be wrong and here I am, making everything to prove them right and that is disgusting.

 Fuck every thing,
 I'm going to finish chemical bonding by Wednesday and will start solutions right away. As planned, i have to finish COM in 3 days and then I will give a test on Friday (prayas test 4) and my QPT on Sunday even if im not confident in my syllabus.

 Lets get started future me, I dont want you in regrets. Love you.

{5:03 PM}

Okay so, i have completed a lecture of chemical bonding. A large chunk of it was questions and yeah i was handling it well for most of it. Now after taking a break im starting again.

{5:37 PM}

Headaches are being more prevalent now that I have test dealines noted. I'm actively trying to complete syllabus while I'm scared of scoring less than 100 in tests while being a dropper. It will be a major setback to remember. Its frustrating how not completing syllabus is pushing me on edge and restricting me from attempting tests.

Yes I know, how i should give tests irrespective of syllabus completion but i guess i just feel this need to be a little more prepared. Anyways, this week is a dealine after that tests will be relevant. i have 2 days to cover as much as syllabus i can and then i will give my first test with a timer.

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